There's this guy... HA! Not really.

I'm just going to post like Sam M. isn't reading this. I'm going to post like this is still just between me and the rest of the world, where I remain anonymous and so do you. I'm going to post like that because my other option is to start a new blog where I am entirely anonymous and pray to Wizard God that Sam doesn't find that one, too. And then I would lose all the hard work I've put into this one.

But all the same, I am a little despondent today. More tired than anything else, really. But when you're tired, everything seems a little gloomier, and then you start to feel like the day would have been that crappy even if you weren't tired, and it all starts to go downhill from there. And having a unit test in geometry certainly doesn't help.

And when you get into this mood, it's really hard to get out of it. Everything anyone says to you feels like a personal assault. The oddest things annoy you no end.

Today it was my name. I just hated it, and everything that went along with it. I just simply couldn't STAND my name. Someone just saying it in passing made me cringe.

I was also really annoyed by being alone, all day. I mean, I was in crowded classrooms all day, but I just felt kind of seperate. I just missed really, really close friendships and I wished I had someone I could share all this stuff with. I felt rather unloved. Sometimes I wish there was just someone of the opposite gender who found me, if not amazing, then at least not repulsive. You get my drift. (And this is why I want you far, far away, Sam.) I went back into that ancient method of protection, and I buried myself deep away inside, like curling up inside a warm fuzzy blanket on a squishy armchair when it's cold outside, which it never is here. But that armchair got boring, and I wished there was someone to talk to. That's the closest I can come to comparing it to normal people's lives, if you didn't understand.

The whole day was like that, until I came home and just said to myself, "I could care less what everyone thinks of me and I can speak to my blog if I'm lonely. I might as well have fun if I'm going to be so out of place, so I decided the best way to have fun was to go on AverageWizard, write some on Facebook and elsewhere without giving a thought about how people would view me if I posted it (and I don't mean rude or disrespectful things, don't get me wrong), and posted on my blog. And other things, like cleaning my room. Not fun, but I had to do it anyways.

So, basically, I was tired, and sad, and lonely, and then I came home and said, "Screw this and them."