10 Hilarious Things to do In an Elevator (Sparknotes submiss.)

So, how many times have you found yourself stuck in an elevator with some boring old people and nothing to do? (Never? You need to get out more!)*yawn* Thankfully, this isn’t a problem anymore…

1. Get into a ball in the corner, and rock back and forth, chanting: “It goes up and up and up, and then it comes down and down and down, and people get on, and people get off, but nobody ever stays, and nobody ever talks to poor Smeagol. *cough* Gollum. Gollum. *cough* “ Repeat until other passengers get off.

2. Carry around a cooler with “frozen head” written on it in sharpie. Check on it occasionally and make disgusted faces.

3. Pick one other person and stare at them for a while, before screaming: “You’re one of them!” and getting off at the next stop.

4. Make the strangest faces and noises you can possibly think of.

5. Pick your nose. And pretend to eat the boogers. Offer some to another passenger, and look hurt if they refuse. If they say yes, you should probably call 911, or the asylum.

6. Have a very loud and imaginary breakup with your boy/girlfriend over the phone. (Tip: Make sure your phone is off before doing this. Nothing is more embarrassing than having it ring while you are supposedly talking.)

7. Wear a strange Halloween costume, and go trick or treating in the elevator. (Funniest in summer.)

8. Pull a pointy hat and a “wand” out of your bag and start cursing people with Harry Potter spells. Repeat louder when the spells don’t work. If you get the chance, look exasperated and put it away, muttering under your breath.

9. Start singing, preferably something from a musical. Make sure you dance along.

10. Stuff your face with microwaved popcorn. While your mouth is still full, offer some to the other passengers.

Hope that helped… If you get kicked out of whatever building you were in, don’t blame me: you didn’t hear these ideas from me.