Accent.

I promised I would tell you about my weird accent/speech impediment. I guess that might help you get to know me a bit more, if anyone is really even reading this. I mean, I always find it difficult to feel like I really KNOW someone, even if I know every single fact about their little lives, if I've never seen a photo of them and heard what their voice sounds like (or, you know, I could actually meet them. That works, too).

Now, there's a bit of controversy about my voice. A lot of the younger people I've met (teens, children) say that I have an accent. The older people (parents, teachers, etc.) say that I don't, and that I merely enunciate my words. It is true that I so speak funny, especially certain words- cat, rather, soup, no, yeah... All have been reported to be as words I say "wrong." Even when I went to People to People, with kids from all over the country, they all said I had an accent from someplace other than my state.(Because people from my state don't HAVE accents. They hardly even MEAN half the words they say. No enthusiasm.)

The only problem is that I'm not FROM anywhere other than this state. My mom's a third generation resident of this state, and my dad's been here since he was a baby. I guess my family history IS pretty interesting, though. If you checked on Ancestry.com, ours might be oen of the most fun to look at (if I had kept up my account- I didn't remember that you had to pay to make an account). My grandpa came to America when he fled from Russia pre-WWII. (as a Jew, he had to leave, or be killed. Several of my relatives- great aunts, etc.- were killed at the time, anyways.) One of my ancestors came to America before the Revolution, too- if I wanted, I could join the organization "Daughters of the American Revolution." We think that they came from England, because my last name means "English kitchen servant." (If you can guess what it is, I'll give you a cookie.) Actually, I had family on both sides of the Civil War, too. And one of my relatives was one of the original Utah pioneers. And one of my great grandparents spoke only Gaelic (from Ireland). One of my ancestors was even the first Postmaster General. I think. If he wasn't the first, he was at least ONE of the original Postmaster Generals. Oh, and part of my family randomly ended up in Africa. Don't ask me how.

But all of that was really far back. None of that is likely to be the cause of my "accent." Personally, I think it's just that I talk strangely. An accent can't be an accent if it's not FROM anywhere, can it? At first my dad thought that I just spoke oddly because I couldn't pronounce words with my braces/expander. But now I don't have either of those, and I still can't talk right, so, I guess it's just me. But it's OK- I talk oddly and I don't have a problem with that. I have a family, friends, and boyfriend who love me no matter how strangely I talk, and that's all that matters.


EDIT: Scratch that about the boyfriend.

Music.

I love music. I listen to it all the time. Whenever I can. It makes me happy.

My whole family is totally musical- my mom and grandfather have both played the piano proffesionally since childhood, my grandpa owned a music store, my aunt plays bass in a band, my uncle plays guitar, my mom owns more instruments than the musical instrument museum.

Naturally, I have a lot of music on my iPod. I listen to everything; every style. I guess now is the time when you listen to my ramblings as I list all the items in my iPod and you marvel at my pathetic taste. I'm the girl who likes Wrock, remember?

Kay, here goes.

-Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince audiobook, 173 tracks.

-Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows audiobook, 288 tracks.

(I often trade out between the seven audiobooks so that I don't have to listen to them all too many times in a row. These two just happened to be in here right now.)

-Adagio for Strings, Albioni (It's very relaxing, you know).

- 10 Celtic Woman songs (I saw them in concert once and I really enjoyed it. We bought the CD and sometimes I listen to it.)

-Dirty Little Secret, by the All American Regects (PostSecret first introduced me to this song. I absolutely love PostSecret, and I absolutely love this song. And the music video is pretty awesome- it features PostSecret stories and I believe then the postcards were auctioned off for a good cause.)

-The soundtrack to Phantom of the Opera, Andrew Lloyd Webber, the original cast (I love myself some Webber, although my mommy HATES him, and Phantom's the best in my opinion.)

-Evolve, Ani DiFranco (She was one of the first woman to self produce her own music. She sings, she almost raps, she plays the guitar, she rocks. I absolutely LOVE this song, and always have.)

-Boyfriend, Ashlee Simpson (I can have some pop, even if it isn't really popular, no?)

-Satisfied, Ashley Monroe (My mom bought this song as a free download on iTunes one day and we both really like it.)

-5 songs by Avril Lavine (See Ashlee Simpson. I hardly ever listen to these, but they're nice on some occasions.)

-Bach-Air on G String and Brandenburg #4 by Bach (My personal favorites of Bach, that I can actually listen to.)

-Yellows Submarine album, Rubber Soul album, Abbey Road album, all Beatles (I love the Beatles. 'Nuff said.)

-Meet Me Halfway, I Gotta Feeling, the Black Eyed Peas (Again, pop.)

-The soundtrack of A Very Potter Musical (It's totally awesome. That's all there is to it. I can't really explain it any more than that. I love the entire cast. They're all supermegafoxyawesomehot and amazing.)

-Sad Lisa, Cat Stevens (I like this song, a lot. And I can play it on the piano.)

-I Like to Move It, Crazy Frog (It's CATCHY, kay?)

-Potions Yesterday, Voldemort is Awesome, Dobby by Draco and the Malfoys (This is one of my favorite Wrock bands. The lead singer even sounds like how I picture Draco, which I guess is the point. These songs are catchy, witty, appropriate, and funny. Me gusta.)

-Scheherezade, Op. 35: I- IV (My absolute favorite classical music. It just makes me feel good inside.)

-Know Your Enemy, Boulevard of Broken Dreams, by Green Day (These two songs I really like. They're catchy, and interesting, and almost seem to mean something.)

-Voldemort Can't Stop the Rock, Harry Potter, by Harry and the Potters (I had to have at least a few songs by HatP since they really are the fathers of Wrock.)

(I have a lot more pop songs, too, but, I'm getting bored with this and I'm only at H so, I'm skipping them.)

(I also have a lot more classical and yoga-esque music, but, again, I'm tired.)

-The Remedy, I'm Yours, by Jason Mraz (It's like Jack Johnson, except popular and for teens.)

-Phantom, Hairspray, Mamma Mia, Chicago, West Side Story, Annie, 101 Dalmations, Beauty and the Beast, Pocohantus (sp), Mulan, Aladdin, Mary Poppins, Lion King, Jungle Book, Suessical, Peter Pan, Wicked, Le Mis, and more. (Theatre work- I use them and need them. Plus the songs are fun and I like to sing/dance a long.)

Oh, you know what, I'm ditching this. My computer's broken and it's time for bed.

Message.

About fifteen minutes ago (maybe more; my computer takes so long to get internet open) I finished reading the Marcus Zusak book "I Am the Messenger" (I know I should underline that but I'm too freaking lazy). It took me about a month, mainly because I picked it up, read the first 60 pages, and then couldn't summon up any enthusiasm for it anymore and didn't read it again for about 4 weeks. So, really, you could say I was actually reading it for two days- one where I was bored out of my mind (the first 60 pages) and one where I was intensely interested (the last 290 or so pages).

I have to admit, at first, I just found it a bit slow. Nice characters, fairly good plot, fine word choice (although quite a bit of swearing), and, as typical in a Zusak book, amazing description and personification. It just didn't really appeal to me at the time- a book about a cab driver who suddenly recieves some higher calling. How nice for him. But I stuck with it, as I always do (I've never been known to put down a book once I've started it- not even the Silmarillion). And after about page 60, it got interesting, and heartwarming, and almost (if I dare to say it) sweet.

This loser of a person who seems so typical of rough, lower income communities, Ed, suddenly becomes this intruiging, multi-layered protagonist who almost seemlessly adopts these multiple personalities and causes to help the people who surround him. He becomes Jimmy, the deceased husband of an old, lonely woman, Milla, who has been dead for over 60 years. He becomes the brave defender of a woman being raped daily by her alchoholic husband. He finds the solution for the worry of a beautiful teenage girl who can fly when she runs barefoot in the morning but can never quite win that race. He brings two boys together when they, well, beat him up. Twelve stories. Twelve cards. Twelve aces. I won't explain the whole card thing because I'm really hoping you read the book.

But then the last ace comes, and who's been sending them? Was it Audrey, who he's loved for decades? Was it his recently deceased alchoholic father? His abusive mother? Was it someone we don't even know yet? I'll tell you in a minute.

But before I tell you, since I want to make it all offricial and "spoiler alert" safe, I'm going to finish my post first. As the story ends, everything made (somewhat) clear to Ed, his dreams either in the trash or fulfilled, Ed comes to one last conclusion. All those messages he was supposed to send? All those aces? All those times he thought of himself as the Messenger? Really, he's not the Messenger. He's the message.
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Kay, well, here comes the spoiler, because I'm just DYING to give it away (I've never been good at not sharing plot points- By the way, Snape kills Dumbledore).

SPOILER ALERT:
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The real sender of the cards? The author, Markus Zusak. THAT certainly adds a plot twist, doesn't it? That really, the entire story was (POSSIBLY) just a story, in the imagination of the author, even to the characters? The protagonist, Ed, asks one finalquestion: Is this all real? Am I real? The response is there, all set out by Zusak. He knows what the question is going to be, because it was his question first. And the answer comes: "Of course you're real- like any thought or any story. It's real when you're in it."

Braces.

I told you either last month or the month before that I was going to get my braces off soon. Well, I got them off. Weeks and weeks ago, actually. I just forgot to make a formal post. It's odd. Before I got my braces off, I couldn't picture anything but having them on.

I had had braces since third grade; for as long as I could remember. Well, actually, that's a bit of a hyperbole- I can remember before that. In fact, I remember other traumatic experiences with orthodontics before that. For example,in second grade, I had an expander that I had to crank with a key. Although I already spoke with some weird form of accent/speech impediment (I'll probably talk about that later), the expander made it especially difficult for me to talk right. One day, the school was doing a fundraiser and provided breakfast on campus before school started to raise money. I didn't go, but when I walked into the classroom, my teacher (a particularly rude, sports oriented African American man who I hated) imitated me supposedly chewing on what he thought was food from the breakfast. In reality, I was just having difficulty speaking and I was heartbroken and embarassed.

Anyways, I could hardly remember NOT having braces. And now that I no longer have them, I can no longer picture HAVING them. I look in the mirror, and I don't see myself as braces free, I just see myself, which is the opposite of how I looked at other people who didn't need braces when I did. And I look at people with braces and I'm surprised to see them with metal brackets glistening on their pearly whites. Funny how my subconcious immediately reacts to my immediate situation. I automatically see myself as normal, even if that makes my past self abnormal.

Fever.

So, last Thursday was my last day of seventh grade, and my last day of school for this year. Now I'm free for the summer, and life should be good. But of course, Monday, my first real day of summer break, comes, and where am I? Lying in bed with a 102 degree fever at 3 am. And now it's 5:30 at night, and I'm only 97 degrees. Hm.

But the day hasn't been as horrible as it could have been. I was supposed to have gone to the movies with B and her new boyfriend (who I asked out for her, oh hooray) to keep it from getting awkward, and I was supposed to go to the fundraiser at the Theatre to perform two songs, but instead, I stayed home. The movie might have been fun but I was never really all that enthusiastic about the Theatre event. So instead I spent the entire day on the computer, in front of the TV, and staring out the window. If not the most interesting afternoon, it was, at least, relaxing. So now I'm feeling better and sitting on the little platform I built in the Palo Verde tree in the backyard, typing on my be-stickered, slow laptop and listening to the Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows audio book on my iPod Nano. (It's purkle.)

I would have loved to go to the movies if I was just going with B, but, going with B and C (her boyfriend from school) was really going to be awkward for me. Great. The couple and the girl in the corner. I don't really like C all that much, but he texts me all the time. I'm worried that he likes me more than he likes B, which would make it really bad for all three of us. Apparently he's very nice to her; she tells me he compliments her all the time, and that he told her he loved her just yesterday. Somehow, I can't see him being that kind of person, but I guess I'll have to take a leaf from Dumbledore's book and give him another chance. Anyways, it's not like I've ever heard anything about him doing anything horribly wrong.I just wish I could just drop the whole issue and deal with my own successes and problems.

Retreat.

I spent the last few days in a private camp outside a little town with the entire 7th grade class of 2011. The idea of the “camping” retreat was to “bond” with each other, learn our “true north” and core values, and “realize the importance of appreciation” (or, to learn how to appreciate appreciation). We had fun, sure, but… as far as core values, bonding, and appreciation went, it kind of failed.

No one there really wanted to do any of the above things. I’ve been at the school since kindergarten, and I’ve known a lot of the students for 8 or so years. If I haven’t bonded with them by now, I’m probably not going to. Some people are great, and you can connect with them right away, but the rest… no amount of “guided fun” is going to make us friends. I have some difficulties on the social ladder- I either get really shy and nervous, or I get really hyper and bounce off the walls and freak everyone out. It’s rare that I can actually successfully pull off acting normal. Sometimes people like me as that crazy bipolar weirdo I am, but often… not really.

And then there’s the whole “true north” thing. There’s only so many activities you can do in which you’re expected to “discover your personal values that keep you strong” before you either know them flat or start to feel really depressed because you can’t think of any. As of now, I fall into the latter category. Usually, I’m fine, but I don’t like delving into the touchy-feely psychiatrist realms AT ALL. Journaling and blogging are the only ways I really feel comfortable talking about how I feel, especially with adult figures, and even then I seem to pick up alternate personalities and act in ways I usually don’t act. Thinking of the things that I rely on to keep me going just make me feel sad, because all the things that keep me going aren’t inside… they’re outside. My friends (mainly just B), the Average Wizard community, the books I read and the characters in them (dorky, I know) and my theatre buddies. I don’t have anything inside that keeps me from falling; that’s why I fell in the first place. It’s all I can do to keep from going back to that, and it isn’t determination that’s keeping it from happening, it’s shame. Shame isn’t a core value.

Appreciation is rough for me, too. We all got letters of appreciation from our parents on the trip, and those especially made me feel awkward and sad and shameful. My letter was very sweet and kind and all, but still… it just made me feel bad to read it and know that my parents love me, even though I’m so horrible. It didn’t make me feel warm and fuzzy at all. Just moody and emotional and crap. Bit weird, I know, but, there you go. And then we had to have everyone write nice things about us on pieces of paper we wore on our backs. We’ve done this every year, and it never changes. I always am called a theatre geek and feminist at least once, someone mentions flamenco dance, reading and Harry Potter are evident, and pretty much everyone else says “nice,” because that’s what everyone writes when they can’t think of anything else to say. “You’re funny/pretty/nice/kind.” The only thing that’s changed since we did this in kindergarten is that now they know how to spell “thoughtful,” and a lot of the entries on people’s papers were “sexy/hott.” At least they have the dignity not to sign it when they say those.

So, now I come home tired and drained, but, at least I didn’t fail on the ropes course or archery!

WikiAnswers.

So, today I'm going to climb BACK on up to my little soapbox in the stars and talk about something that has been occupying a LOT of my time recently- WikiAnswers.

For those of you who have been spending your time under a rock, or at the bottom of a garden pond, WikiAnswers is a website devoted entirely to asking and answering questions. Anyone can post a question, and anyone can post an answer, which can make it a bit unreliable, but you also have a better likelihood of getting an answer to your question. There are also leadership positions- supervisors for a certain category, floating supervisors, and much more. I'm not going to go into all the power chain on the site. The supervisors and other leaders make sure that the site is kept in running order, vandals are blocked, questions are answered correctly, and people remain polite to each other.

You might have already guessed, but, I'm a supervisor. A Floating Supervisor. I basically just run around the site, making sure everything is reasonably under control. I answer questions and ask questions and edit questions and edit categories and basically anything I can do. I ask a lot of questions I think others might be interested in, because it widens the database of the system. Supervisor is a volunteer position, so, I don't get paid, but they did send me a nice game set with chess and batgammon and all. (:

One way I get in a lot of WikiAnswering is when I study for tests or finals. I like to go through my study guides for each subject/topic and just ask and answer the questions on the list. I get more practice in because I think up an answer/retype all the questions, and the next person who comes along and doesn't remember who Miss Fisher is in To Kill a Mockingbird will be able to find out (she's Scout's first grade teacher, by the way.) When finals start to approach (they start WEDNESDAY!), using WikiAnswers is a great study method for me.

There's also competitions on WikiAnswers. I usually don't participate because I get so very busy, but, I wish I could. Besides major Answerthons, etc., there's just some friendly competition on who can answer the most questions and who can ask the most questions. As far as asking questions goes, right now, I'm 5th on the list (although it changes, regularly)- 5th out of thousands of contributers. For the answering list, I'm about 35th right now.

So, check out WikiAnswers if you haven't already. And find me on the site and give me a trust point, or leave me a message if you have an account. My username's Celindine.

That's CELINDINE, not celandine, like the flower, or celandyne, like my mommy spells it.